I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
