Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
