i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
