i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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