Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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