She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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