from now on my penis is your penis
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
