Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
