So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
