Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
