BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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