**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
only you would photoshop your dick
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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