life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
