hell yes lets make some ravioli
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
