so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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