I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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