I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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