He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
