What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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