I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
