Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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