Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
