Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize