Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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