mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
