They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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