Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
