Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
