I love black thongs
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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