She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had to cum in my sink.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
