i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
