K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Semen is not good for contacts.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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