windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
