He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize