we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wear drunk well.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
