I swear she didn't look like that last week.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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