wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
