They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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