so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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