the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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