I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
