She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
