I'm so fucking centered right now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we're so committed to being not committed
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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