I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
