i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
