Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
