i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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