Swine flu. Run for my life!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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