how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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