i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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