hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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