is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
