HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
