Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
