another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
