oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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