He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
