Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
