I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
