Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
